On a Profound Dilemma

I have been engaged of late in the process of lining up the women's Bible teachers and studies for women in our church over the coming year. The options on the table along with the willingness (and preparedness) of the women who would teach was impressive. Following a time of prayer for God's leading and a robust discussion, the decisions were made with a grateful sense of the Holy Spirit's presence in the details. Wonderful!

But, this joy-filled decision process is like a silver lining highlighting a dark cloud. More than 80% of the women in our church participate in small groups for fellowship and study with their husbands (if married). At least half of those have the opportunity and, it seems, the desire to gather around the Word of God an additional time each week during fall and winter/spring study sessions. Half of the women in the church each year participate in our Weekend Away retreat where they are again taken into the Word. When those leading and teaching them have a commitment to sound doctrine and prefer to take their sisters into the Bible (as opposed to other Christian books), the women partaking of the weekly study opportunity grow all the more in wisdom and knowledge of the Truth. But what of the men in the church? What of the husbands of these women?

Men's ministry does take place in our fellowship. Some quality opportunities for them to study together have been presented over the past several years. But, whether by competing interests or by necessities of their work schedule, relatively few have benefited compared to the proportion of women who participate. Do they not want to learn the content of their faith or discuss the impact of Scripture truth in their lives enough to find ways to take advantage of what has been offered? Do their wives not want them away from home, when they could be home, depriving them of the sense of support they need to make the spiritual investment? Does the world and its demands, such as in the area of children's sports, mean that they are only willing to attend church on Sunday morning and maybe a twice/month small group? Do they make up for the lack of man-to-man connection around the Word with their own study? (Doubtful but for a few.) The church NEEDS men who love the Truth. We need men who care to understand sound doctrine and correct interpretation and application of Scripture. Men need to interact with men in manly ways over issues pertaining to the Gospel and to the church.

The answer to this dilemma is not to withhold from women opportunities to learn and grow until the men are equal to the investment for themselves. But, we women must pray for and encourage the men in our orbit to partake of similar opportunities -- even at our sacrifice when we would prefer to keep them home. In fact, we must pray that the opportunities for them will continue to be provided by able leaders (of whom there are few). And, at the least we must pray that if all our men can do is be present on Sunday morning and participate in a small group, that they are alert, attentive, inquisitive, prepared for and willing to apply what they learn, as well as willing to read and think further on their own time. Finally, we must be careful not to lord over the men in our relationships our growing knowledge and convictions. Instead, we must commit to utilizing our spiritual insight to be humble servants of those around us. And, that IS indeed the silver lining.