On a Profound Dilemma

I have been engaged of late in the process of lining up the women's Bible teachers and studies for women in our church over the coming year. The options on the table along with the willingness (and preparedness) of the women who would teach was impressive. Following a time of prayer for God's leading and a robust discussion, the decisions were made with a grateful sense of the Holy Spirit's presence in the details. Wonderful!

But, this joy-filled decision process is like a silver lining highlighting a dark cloud. More than 80% of the women in our church participate in small groups for fellowship and study with their husbands (if married). At least half of those have the opportunity and, it seems, the desire to gather around the Word of God an additional time each week during fall and winter/spring study sessions. Half of the women in the church each year participate in our Weekend Away retreat where they are again taken into the Word. When those leading and teaching them have a commitment to sound doctrine and prefer to take their sisters into the Bible (as opposed to other Christian books), the women partaking of the weekly study opportunity grow all the more in wisdom and knowledge of the Truth. But what of the men in the church? What of the husbands of these women?

Men's ministry does take place in our fellowship. Some quality opportunities for them to study together have been presented over the past several years. But, whether by competing interests or by necessities of their work schedule, relatively few have benefited compared to the proportion of women who participate. Do they not want to learn the content of their faith or discuss the impact of Scripture truth in their lives enough to find ways to take advantage of what has been offered? Do their wives not want them away from home, when they could be home, depriving them of the sense of support they need to make the spiritual investment? Does the world and its demands, such as in the area of children's sports, mean that they are only willing to attend church on Sunday morning and maybe a twice/month small group? Do they make up for the lack of man-to-man connection around the Word with their own study? (Doubtful but for a few.) The church NEEDS men who love the Truth. We need men who care to understand sound doctrine and correct interpretation and application of Scripture. Men need to interact with men in manly ways over issues pertaining to the Gospel and to the church.

The answer to this dilemma is not to withhold from women opportunities to learn and grow until the men are equal to the investment for themselves. But, we women must pray for and encourage the men in our orbit to partake of similar opportunities -- even at our sacrifice when we would prefer to keep them home. In fact, we must pray that the opportunities for them will continue to be provided by able leaders (of whom there are few). And, at the least we must pray that if all our men can do is be present on Sunday morning and participate in a small group, that they are alert, attentive, inquisitive, prepared for and willing to apply what they learn, as well as willing to read and think further on their own time. Finally, we must be careful not to lord over the men in our relationships our growing knowledge and convictions. Instead, we must commit to utilizing our spiritual insight to be humble servants of those around us. And, that IS indeed the silver lining.

On Being in the Company of Women

I spent the last weekend with a bunch of women. That can be a scary thing if you aren't used to it or if the women aren't, in the majority, women who love the Lord Jesus Christ therefore able to love others authentically.

Women are by nature (by sinful nature) given to suspicion, cattiness, comparison, mask wearing, etc. I have a theory, that for all I know has already been proven by someone, that women actually dress stylishly and put on make-up and jewelry more to maintain an image in front of women than for men. We seem to be highly competitive in that sense. If we don't feel secure, the last place we would want to spend a weekend would be in the company of women we don't know well - i.e. among whom we don't know where we fit in the pecking order. Perhaps it is similar with men...no...they have "pecking order", but don't relate to each other the way women do. They don't play the same games.

What made this past weekend such a delight? Several things. First of all, we (most of us) know we are sinners saved by grace. So, most of us arrived with nothing to prove beyond love for our Savior--by loving each other. Secondly, we have cultivated a radical openness, being able and willing to confess faults to one another and admit failures. We do this, not to impress one another with our piety, but because we value such openness with the Lord. Once you have admitted a fault to Him and experience His forgiveness, there is no longer a reason to hide our inner selves from others. Third, and this is related to the others, we want to quickly let each other know that nothing any of us think is awful about ourselves, nothing that would cause any of us personal shame and a drive to hide, will lower any woman's esteem in our eyes. Since we can each relate to that impulse to cover up, we desire to affirm to each other that we are safe in THIS group to lower the mask.

So, coming away from this recent experience of the wonder of authentic female Christian fellowship I pondered the two major points of truth I have articulated as undergirding a Biblical philosophy of women's ministry: "Women need Women" and "Women need the Word" (of God). Are these two things true of Christian women only? Of course not. They are also true of women who are outside of relationship with the Lord through Christ. By God's grace I am going to begin assuming these truths (arising from Titus 2:3-5) in my relationships with women in my neighborhood. Outside of Christ, no woman knows the depth of rewarding relationship possible with other women. No woman knows her need of God's Word. Most of the women in my neighborhood will not want either, preferring to worship self or other gods. Those whom the Lord has set His love upon will be drawn to Jesus when brought into connection with His women. This simplifies how I think about evangelism. Along with seeking to always speak well of my God, I must become more positively, though gently, assertive in seeking to connect my neighbors with Christian women (myself and/or my friends) and with truth from the Word. The Lord will work new life as He will, and I will be blessed to watch.