On Being There

In my second post, I talked about the wonder of female Christian fellowship. I recently spoke on friendship for a women's tea at a friend's church by explaining Hebrews 10:24-25. It is not a passage that jumps out at you as pertaining to friendship but certainly does apply. This passage contains essential instruction for how to view our relationships in the Body of Christ. It is within these relationships that our deepest friendships will be found through serving Him together.

For those who do not have a Bible nearby, the passage reads: "And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near." Now this is a particularly rich passage within its larger context, but for this post one phrase only will be highlighted. This phrase is so easily overlooked, yet I believe it is profound. We are exhorted to not forsake "our own assembling together, as is the habit of some." This phrase describes the commitment that must exist not only to Christ, but also to others in His Body. It is the "you matter to me enough to be there" glue that under girds all the blessing that friendship in Christ consists of. I believe that this phrase is the most important element of meaningful church relationships.

Today, each family unit is pressed for time by the many commitments the world forces on us. It takes a certain determination to "show up." As the previous phrases in this two-verse passage declare, it is not enough to show up for what-I-can-get. The "showing up" that pleases God is that which is for what-I-can-give. That is the motivation that tears us away from other distractions and gets us out of bed on a Sunday morning. To "not forsake" is to have made a prior decision that how I feel at the moment will not derail me from getting out the door. To "not forsake" is also to have made the prior decision that no others in my life (extended family, friends, sports teams), for whom spiritual fellowship means little or nothing, will impose on me their preference that I not participate in worship or other fellowship in order to accommodate them. Certainly, this passage warns that such a forsaking of assembling can become a habit, a default position. But, that will not happen when our personal criteria for absenting ourselves from church-family events is set quite high. So, set that bar quite high. Set it high not to look good or out of a sense of grudging duty. Do it to please and obey the Lord who knows what you need. He designed the local church to use other believers to bless and mature you and use you to bless and mature others. Twice-a-month regularity is a twice-a-month habit of forsaking assembly. What is good enough? To purpose never to be absent apart from a pre-determined criteria.

My own bar is that I must have an unwelcome communicable disease (for me this means more than the common cold) or be physically incapacitated. My cancer treatments weakened but did not incapacitate me (thank you, Lord) so I was present every Sunday throughout those months, but flu kept me home two weeks ago. When my children were small, their illnesses could keep me home with one or the other. But, I made that decision (not them) and they went to church if they would have been well enough to go to school, even though I homeschooled. As the boys grew, they were not allowed to participate in any activity that took place on Sunday regularly. Occasional Boy Scout camping trips were allowed because they had a "chapel." When they began working they told employers that they preferred not to work on Sunday and would not work Sunday morning. My boys learned the value we placed on attendance at worship. Today they each own this commitment for themselves. If people visit us, they come with us to church or they understand that we will be at church -- and that is not just because my husband is a pastor. For nine years he was in business and the same rule applied. During those particular years when we could easily have been away many weekends, we determined not to do so or to be home Saturday night because it was not a small thing for us to miss Sunday with our spiritual family. If we go away, we go to a Bible teaching church where we are, even if we are traveling on a Sunday (what fun that has been!)

So, what is the point? Commitment to one's local church is not an option for a believer. That commitment will be demonstrated by obeying Hebrews 10:25. Being there will provide the foundation needed for the deep rewarding friendships that will endure. Being there with the purpose of encouraging one another will ward off the urge to simply pick up and try out another church fellowship. Being there says, I love you. Being there says, I am willing to serve you. Being there says, God saved me and God saved you and we are one in Him. Being there says, especially to our children, there is no higher priority in my life at this hour.