On Being in the Company of Women

I spent the last weekend with a bunch of women. That can be a scary thing if you aren't used to it or if the women aren't, in the majority, women who love the Lord Jesus Christ therefore able to love others authentically.

Women are by nature (by sinful nature) given to suspicion, cattiness, comparison, mask wearing, etc. I have a theory, that for all I know has already been proven by someone, that women actually dress stylishly and put on make-up and jewelry more to maintain an image in front of women than for men. We seem to be highly competitive in that sense. If we don't feel secure, the last place we would want to spend a weekend would be in the company of women we don't know well - i.e. among whom we don't know where we fit in the pecking order. Perhaps it is similar with men...no...they have "pecking order", but don't relate to each other the way women do. They don't play the same games.

What made this past weekend such a delight? Several things. First of all, we (most of us) know we are sinners saved by grace. So, most of us arrived with nothing to prove beyond love for our Savior--by loving each other. Secondly, we have cultivated a radical openness, being able and willing to confess faults to one another and admit failures. We do this, not to impress one another with our piety, but because we value such openness with the Lord. Once you have admitted a fault to Him and experience His forgiveness, there is no longer a reason to hide our inner selves from others. Third, and this is related to the others, we want to quickly let each other know that nothing any of us think is awful about ourselves, nothing that would cause any of us personal shame and a drive to hide, will lower any woman's esteem in our eyes. Since we can each relate to that impulse to cover up, we desire to affirm to each other that we are safe in THIS group to lower the mask.

So, coming away from this recent experience of the wonder of authentic female Christian fellowship I pondered the two major points of truth I have articulated as undergirding a Biblical philosophy of women's ministry: "Women need Women" and "Women need the Word" (of God). Are these two things true of Christian women only? Of course not. They are also true of women who are outside of relationship with the Lord through Christ. By God's grace I am going to begin assuming these truths (arising from Titus 2:3-5) in my relationships with women in my neighborhood. Outside of Christ, no woman knows the depth of rewarding relationship possible with other women. No woman knows her need of God's Word. Most of the women in my neighborhood will not want either, preferring to worship self or other gods. Those whom the Lord has set His love upon will be drawn to Jesus when brought into connection with His women. This simplifies how I think about evangelism. Along with seeking to always speak well of my God, I must become more positively, though gently, assertive in seeking to connect my neighbors with Christian women (myself and/or my friends) and with truth from the Word. The Lord will work new life as He will, and I will be blessed to watch.

On Being an Older Woman

When I was 15 years old I lay on my bed one night trying to figure out what my perfect age would be. I was a young devoted follower of Jesus Christ having been born again at 13. I decided 17 would be perfect. Due to entering school early, I would graduate high school at 17. Ah, to be done with compulsory schooling...to have the freedom to choose what was next without ties to anything holding me back. To know and love God and be 17! Yes, that had to be the perfect age.

Of course, 17 came and went. As much as I would enjoy detailing multiple stages and phases in my life from that time until this, I'll jump ahead to the next time I pondered that question of age. I had just had my fifth child and was 35 years old. I looked ahead and decided that 55 would be, well, perfect! At 55 my youngest would be 20 and on his own. Ah, to have finally finished my child-rearing years...to finally have something to offer others of substance with time and energy to do it! Yes, that had to be the perfect age.

Hmmm, 55 has come and gone. I suppose at this point, my growing age will simply be maturing in its perfection. I am grateful to belong to Jesus, and grateful to be older, though I do tend to wonder if I yet have anything of significant substance to give to others. I take that on faith. Titus 2:3 specifies that ministry to women in the local church must be entrusted to older women of godly character. The term "presbytis" is a term of age. As one lexicon puts it,a presbytis is an "aged woman." So, here I am. I have arrived, by the grace of God. Lord willing, what I write will fulfill the burden on the older godly woman...to teach what is good and "sophronizo" (urge, train, advise, bring to one's senses, encourage...) those who stop by.